Can I rape you?

If you’re a girl then most likely yes.

Ask me anything, idiots

Do you ever submit articles to magazines?

I have not. You have any suggestions or connections?

Ask me anything, idiots

What is your biggest regret?

Ever eating at Long John Silver’s

Ask me anything, idiots

Why don’t you quit your job if its this lame? And move to somewhere where you can be actually recognized for your talent?

Wait… I have talent?

Ask me anything, idiots

friendlyatheist:

stfubelievers:

A little gem from snail mail.

(Thanks Pam)

God is always broke…

What was the worst concert you went to?

I’m almost too embarrassed to say… I once went to a Good Charlotte concert a long, long time ago… but Something Corporate was also there so doesn’t that somewhat make up for it? No? Fuck. :(

Ask me anything, idiots

marry, fuck or kill (LOST style): Smoke Monster, Juliet, Sawyer

Too easy. I’d obviously have to kill Sawyer because I’m not gay. I’d then marry Juliet and fuck the smoke monster. Just imagine all that smoke whirling around your dick like a tornado. It’d have to feel good, right?

Ask me anything, idiots

jkjb98:

9gag:

Stop doing it asap

Agreed, but if you do continue doing this at least be completely nude.

What’s the best place near you to get a pizza?

My town sucks for pizza and food in general. Applebee’s is considered the best restaurant by everyone in my town… It’s shit.

Ask me anything, idiots

Twitter is great, but it has a crappy name. What should they call it instead?

They may as well just call it “Twatter” because that’s where all the terrible jokes end up anyways.

Ask me anything, idiots